Planning A Big Move?

Are you thinking about making a large scale move? Something like moving the contents of a three bedroom house all the way across the country? If so, you need to be prepared. However, RELAX. No amount of planning and worrying can prepare you for all that could go wrong. To assist with this process, I have prepared a list of my “Top Tips for Moving.”

  1. Don’t have a lot of stuff. The more you have, the more you suffer.
  2. Don’t be too emotionally attached to your stuff. Items will disappear and things will get broken. If you think the label “Fragile” means anything to your movers, then you are completely insane.
  3. Let the moving company pack EVERYTHING (since they assume NO liability for whatever you pack). As you stand there holding your broken items with a pained expression on your face, their favorite thing to do is ask “Did you pack that?” It is like an instant Get Out of Stupid card for them.
  4. See Rule #1. My advice? Burn it all.
  5. Always retain original boxes for delicate/valuable items (such as your computer, stereo, TV, etc). Failing to do so is like asking for your valuable item to get broken. That form-fitting styrofoam is there for a reason.
  6. Your most valuable items and those things you consider irreplaceable are best moved by you personally. This means that you pack it, you load it in your vehicle, you secure it and you carry it into your new home. Failing to do so guarantees your future unhappiness.
  7. Be prepared for LOTS of wasted paper resources. Watching professional packers or unpacking their parcels is enough to make even the most casual environmentalist cry. I think they killed 25 redwoods just to pack this one lamp I got at a thrift store.
  8. Remember that persnickety box description - “Misc.” Everything you are looking for is in that box. Maybe you should open this box first to prevent yourself from buying a lot of stuff that you already own.
  9. Don’t have a lot of stuff. A good rule is worth repeating twice. A perfect rule is worth repeating thrice.

If you can follow the above instructions, then your large scale move should go fairly well. If you don’t follow the above instructions, then you should just take a sledgehammer to your belongings right now. Oh yeah, and drive down the highway and dump a bunch of your favorite things out the window at 60 MPH. This should simulate the average cross country move with great accuracy.

2 Responses to “Planning A Big Move?”

  1. Amanda Says:

    Wow… uh… what was broken?

    *hugs*

  2. David M. Says:

    Just a few minor things, but it was the rough handling and the “We don’t care” attitude that bothered me. Thanks for asking!

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